Long time no hear eh?

Well it's been a while friends, so here's the latest. I've moved from Denver for my dream job in DC, left my dream job for an even dreamier job, only to find it's more of a paranormal experience than a fantasy. I've gained 15 pounds - yuck, gotten a god awful hair cut, double yuck, and can't seem to get my Nittany Lions to stop from sabotaging their season - yuck, yuck, yuckity, yuck.

But alas I've snuck in a handful of super duper fun experiences - can you say BERMUDA! Yessirreee I went to the beach, on a boat, for 5 days....loved it! It was a last minute thing and I'm happy I did it...here's a pic to prove it. I also managed to take one of those once in a lifetime photos that I keep swearing I'm going to enter into some amateur photo contest. Check it out (it's the lighthouse, cool eh?)...

So here's the thing (that's me stealing a line from Kathy Griffin)...I know this blog has a very small readership, and I do my best to entertain, and share, but most of all entertain. So I know you'll totally get what I'm about to write...email me if you agree that crap like this only happens in my world. It's Saturday morning and like most Saturday mornings, I'm doing my best to stay in the bed as long as humanly possible. And the phone rings, what the hell?? My phone doesn't ring, and as my TRUE friends know it surely doesn't ring before 10 am. So I throw my ass out of bed and lunge for my blackberry to hear, "This is a prepaid call from federal prison from XXX." WTF??? Federal prison? Are you shittin' me, federal prison, I don't know no one in no damn federal prison. So I quickly hang up and go back to bed...ring, ring. No really?? Are they calling me back? "This is a prepaid call from federal prison from XXX."

Needless to say I hung up and they didn't call back, but as I was heading back to bed I chuckled. Because (here's where you all nod your head in agreement), it seems that the first man to call me, here in DC, ends up being an inmate in federal prison AND a wrong number - CLASSIC!!!

Until the next horror story...take care my friends and share my shame, I'd love to increase my readership...oh ohhhhh I have an idea about my next topic, it's gonna be gooooood.

-Cw

Welcome to My New Reality

It's Sunday evening in DC and I'm watching Keane in concert. It's been a lovely weekend, beautiful weather but I didn't partake. No I wasn't being lazy, although that would have been a great 1st guess. Nope, I woke up with the weirdest thing - both of my eyes are swollen and bruised as if I just went 1 round with Mike Tyson (yeah I said 1 round - do you really think you could go more than 1?). I have no idea how it happened and I'm praying it goes away by Monday, because wearing sunglasses in the office is just plain odd.

I mean think about it, how does one explain two bruised eyes? "Listen, man I really didn't see it coming... I went left as his fist went right, then right and left again....so I ran into this door, turned and ran into the one next to it?" As you can see nothing sounds reasonable here...maybe I should just wait and see if the bruising goes away....nah, building a kick ass story is far more exciting.

BTW - I just read some of my older posts, I'm freaking hilarious! I need to get more readers, this is too much fun to keep to myself.