Monday, November 30, 2009

commercials that make me laugh

Well guys, today's post will be short and sweet.  I'm going to try to link you to my new fav commercials...they make me laugh everytime...K Bye!

Gap Girls Holiday Commercial    Geico Pothole Commercial

Friday, November 20, 2009

I Swear I Don't Subscribe to a Victim Mentality

Dear Lord!!! You won't believe what happened to me tonight.  First let me say, the initial plan was to write a post about how totally disillusioned I was with the city of Austin, TX.  But I must ask your indulgence and that you allow me to SCREAM, YELL, WHINE, BITCH & MOAN about the parking authority here in Washington, DC.  Better yet, I'll let you be the judge...tell me what do you see?

Mollie and I parked here at 6:43pm tonight, so given the pictures I've shared - you tell me, would you expect to return to your car and find a $25 ticket under your windsheild wiper?  Now, before I prepare my novella on the injustices of the DC Parking Authority I want to make certain my absolutely horrific past experiences with parking meters isn't coloring my reaction to this ticket.  So take a minute and tell me what you think, share this with your friends and have them tell me what they think, have them share this with their friends and tell me what they think. Should I, in the words of the great Spike Lee, "Fight the Power!"

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Long time no hear eh?

Well it's been a while friends, so here's the latest. I've moved from Denver for my dream job in DC, left my dream job for an even dreamier job, only to find it's more of a paranormal experience than a fantasy. I've gained 15 pounds - yuck, gotten a god awful hair cut, double yuck, and can't seem to get my Nittany Lions to stop from sabotaging their season - yuck, yuck, yuckity, yuck.

But alas I've snuck in a handful of super duper fun experiences - can you say BERMUDA! Yessirreee I went to the beach, on a boat, for 5 days....loved it! It was a last minute thing and I'm happy I did's a pic to prove it. I also managed to take one of those once in a lifetime photos that I keep swearing I'm going to enter into some amateur photo contest. Check it out (it's the lighthouse, cool eh?)...

So here's the thing (that's me stealing a line from Kathy Griffin)...I know this blog has a very small readership, and I do my best to entertain, and share, but most of all entertain. So I know you'll totally get what I'm about to me if you agree that crap like this only happens in my world. It's Saturday morning and like most Saturday mornings, I'm doing my best to stay in the bed as long as humanly possible. And the phone rings, what the hell?? My phone doesn't ring, and as my TRUE friends know it surely doesn't ring before 10 am. So I throw my ass out of bed and lunge for my blackberry to hear, "This is a prepaid call from federal prison from XXX." WTF??? Federal prison? Are you shittin' me, federal prison, I don't know no one in no damn federal prison. So I quickly hang up and go back to bed...ring, ring. No really?? Are they calling me back? "This is a prepaid call from federal prison from XXX."

Needless to say I hung up and they didn't call back, but as I was heading back to bed I chuckled. Because (here's where you all nod your head in agreement), it seems that the first man to call me, here in DC, ends up being an inmate in federal prison AND a wrong number - CLASSIC!!!

Until the next horror story...take care my friends and share my shame, I'd love to increase my readership...oh ohhhhh I have an idea about my next topic, it's gonna be gooooood.


Sunday, May 31, 2009

Welcome to My New Reality

It's Sunday evening in DC and I'm watching Keane in concert. It's been a lovely weekend, beautiful weather but I didn't partake. No I wasn't being lazy, although that would have been a great 1st guess. Nope, I woke up with the weirdest thing - both of my eyes are swollen and bruised as if I just went 1 round with Mike Tyson (yeah I said 1 round - do you really think you could go more than 1?). I have no idea how it happened and I'm praying it goes away by Monday, because wearing sunglasses in the office is just plain odd.

I mean think about it, how does one explain two bruised eyes? "Listen, man I really didn't see it coming... I went left as his fist went right, then right and left I ran into this door, turned and ran into the one next to it?" As you can see nothing sounds reasonable here...maybe I should just wait and see if the bruising goes away....nah, building a kick ass story is far more exciting.

BTW - I just read some of my older posts, I'm freaking hilarious! I need to get more readers, this is too much fun to keep to myself.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Happy Birthday Mary Jane

Wahoooo! I went skiing on Saturday. I had a super duper, fantastic time. That is ... after the long moments of terror as I looked down the precipice of the mountain and spotted .... the toe rope.

That right boys and girls I'm a beginner, a newbie, a neophyte. And I love it! I was excited to take a lesson on Saturday but the gods conspired against us and placed us in snails paced traffic up the mountain. When we arrived, I missed it "by that much" and the wheels came off the bus. Jen and Randal offered to take me down the mountain, no problem. But all I could see was me careening over the edge - ass over tea kettle, doing my best Sonny Bono impression. The Kennedy's and McQwethy's would have nothing on me. My lower lip trembled and I could feel my face getting flushed, "oh hell no," I wasn't going down without a lesson.

But there I was, about to mount the lift of the Galloping Goose. My heart was racing and I didn't care how many BLTs (big long turns) I was about to do - THIS would not be good. As we crested the hill I could hear the voice of my instructor, "poles in hand, lift your tips, and lean forward."
Would you believe it worked? I sailed off the lift. Almost a pro and with my new found confidence I headed down the baby green run. Baby steps people, baby steps... My poor neighbor, I had worked myself into a frenzy she must have thought I was looney.

Two times down Shoo Fly and it was time to move on up. That's right folks, we went to the big boys lift, up, up, up we went. I was going to try my hand on Village way. Wish me luck...oh damn I forgot my chapstick!

The case of the light fingered lily livered wallet lifter

ARRRRRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!! I thought it would never happen to me. Sure I'm careless, sure I'm trusting, and yes I walk away from my purse in the store, at the bar, in the airport. BUT I NEVER THOUGHT SOMEONE WOULD EVER REALLY TAKE IT!!!!!

Yep, my wallet was stolen today and I joined the long list of humans who've had to make that frantic call to their bank, scramble to find challenge phrases and account passwords. Oh the horror. For chrissakes I even had to order a new insurance card, well actually I didn't HAVE to I just wasn't able to locate the second card they sent me last year.

Kudos to my cops. I love these guys. I walked into my office and saw what the deviants left behind and felt a slow burn combo of rage, horror, and absolute disgust. I reached for the phone and dialed my Chief of Police, that's right I said it, MY Chief of Police, ohh I know you're jealous... He sent my favorite officers down to take a report, settle my anxieties, and basically humor me, for let's face it, my wallet was long gone. They searched the offices, the hallways, and the trash cans around my office. They did their due diligence as I struggled not to cry my irresponsible eyes out.

So I made the calls, ordered the new cards, deposited money into my new accounts and slowly but surely all will be right with the world. But until I receive the 1st of my new cards, I think I have a right to be a little be honest I really wanted to label this post F@%k, F*C&, F@ckity , F@%ck, F*ck!!! But thought twice about it.

BTW - I just registered on let's hope it helps.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Back to the Real World

This is the story, TRUE STORY, of seven strangers, picked to live....wait, NO, that's not what I wanted to say. How about...December rolled around and Christina got to go to NEW YORK CITY!!! Now that's something. Enjoy my 1st motion picture to learn a little more, no worries my friends, I'm not dumping my day dig to run off to Cannes....

I also went to Chicago for my Birthday, yes, you can say it..."that girl gets around!" Check out these shots. Thanks to my nearest and dearest of friends Jennifer, Tony, Orest, Barbara, Jarrod, and Elizabeth.

You guys made turning 38 not so bad. As a matter of fact I'm looking forward to this new year.

I'm looking forward to the new adventures with old Christina, aren't you?