Happy Thanksgiving From AFP!

OMG my friends! Yesterday while having an amazing Thanksgiving dinner with Laura (yummy pate - I am sooo coming back for any dinner parties you have my dear) her friend Jennifer recommended I check out the website awkwardfamilyphotos.com for a laugh. Let me just say the Thanksgiving Letter didn't disappoint. Now I warn you, liquids shot out of my mouth and nose as I laughed out loud (yes it should read LOL - but the full words are far more dramatic) and if you're not careful you will too! Happy Thanksgiving From AFP!

Enjoy!
Christina

So let's talk...

Well boys and girls, I recently received some advice about men and thought I'd share this spicy little nugget with you.  "Men aren't interested in women who aren't needy."  

Whoa - whoa there everybody before all 5 of my readers rip me a new one, let me say this...the advice giver presented me with no credentials before this advice was given.  For all I know she got this snippet of enlightenment from a gum wrapper (does Bazooka do that anymore?).  But I have to say I'm leaning towards believing her.  Case in point - me, after all isn't this my blog?  I fancy myself an independent gal, someone who seeks out things to do regardless if there are others to do it with me.  I eat alone at restaurants and have gotten pretty damn good at it.  I live alone and make decisions about my future without the assistance of group think.  I definitely travel alone - I refuse to miss the world because someone because I can't find someone else to go with me.  And yep - read and attend lectures so that I can make up my own mind on things that are important to me.  So what about that says BACK OFF BUSTER, I don't need you?  Come on people - I choose to do these things to make ME better, so I have more to offer myself and anyone else who enters my life.  I mean really, having your act together is a turn off?  I would think living with your parents, never traveling outside your neighborhood, shuffling from one boyfriend to another,  and believing everything Glenn Beck says would be far worse. 

You tell me, am I wrong?

Long Time No Hear

Hi there friends, it's me, Christina.  I know it's been quite a while since I've written, but don't worry I haven't forgotten you.  I could say I've been waiting for the right thing to come along and get me all fired up, but that wouldn't be truthful.  I could say, my love life has gotten so rich and fulfilling that I could think of nothing else, girl pleez you know that's a lie!  What I will say is its been too long, and someone as opinionated as me should never walk away from an opportunity to preach, teach, and pontificate.  My goal remains the same, share my thoughts - flaws and all.  With the deep down hope that you'll share yours and we'll all be richer and better for it.  Ohhh don't worry I won't get ahead of myself, I don't see this blog turning into the great bastion of deep thoughts - I will have my pop culture rants and you will laugh as you read them. 

So you guys know I turn 40 next month, right?  Well I'd set a personal goal to be fabulous by forty and since that achievement appears to have turned into a pipe dream I've decided to reach for a more realistic one...1,000 followers by the new year.  Do you think I can do it?  I think I can but I'll need your help and a committment to mass advertising.  Any thoughts on how to get these AWESOME - SUPER DUPER blog out there?  What do you think about my instituting a daily topic - you know something like...Sexy Saturdays or Wicked Wednesdays (and I'm not talking the Broadway play baby), Technology Tuesday (snooze), Tipsy Tuesday (oooh yeah!), Fabulous Faker Boy Friday....ohhh this madness could go on forever...

Just some thoughts...TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!  Off to meet the Russians!  (I'll fill you in later)

Dr. T fixes my toe

Well today was what I expected and then some. I woke at 8:30 (slept in on purpose) and got ready to head up to Bethesda for outpatient surgery. Typical when I want to avoid something, I poked around and pushed my timetable to the point of almost being late. Let's be honest, you probably wouldn't be rushing out to get your toe sawed on either - man, this is going to hurt.




My anxiety starts to rise as I approach Constitution Ave and realize, I've been sitting at this intersection too long I'm not going anywhere soon. Traffic has this city at a stand still. I need to change my game plan. What is that? Smoke...holy shit that guy's car is on fire...what do I do? what do I do? There's no where to go I'm stuck behind this flaming inferno AND I'm about to be late for surgery! Leaving my car with Amir and taking metro, I've got to get out of here or I'll go mad. Screw it, I don't care if we're in a snow emergency, I'm parking on the street. I park and start to run to the metro stop as the fire trucks and ambulances start to arrive - this is not a good omen. Calm, calm, and take a deep breath you can't think about what you can't control.



So I arrive, a little late, but the team is so kind and accommodating I immediately start to relax. Dr. T took advantage of my tardiness and grabbed lunch so I know I'm not dealing with a cranky hypoglycemic with a saw thank goodness. I'm in the surgery suite, one shot - shit that hurt, two shots - holy hell isn't this supposed to go numb at some point, third shot - are you shitting me? Maybe I should have let them knock me out. 15 minutes later it was done.



So here I lay hours later, 2 Vicodin and one still numb club foot (exaggeration) - too scared to go to bed cuz' I know I'm going to bang it on something in my sleep, but hoping to pass out of exhaustion soon enough.

So why am I writing this entry? I don't have a clue, but felt I needed to write about my anxiety and how unfounded it was. I needed to put on paper (or should I say cyberspace) me fears about how long this is going to take to recover. How I have absolutely no idea how I'm going to get around in this snow filled, ice sculpture of a town on one size 6.5 foot. How I have no idea how I'm going to respond to the post surgery pain and to do so will I become addicted to Vicodin? Brett Favre did, do I have greater will power than him? That part was ridiculous, I don't really think I'm going to become a pain killer addict - but well I did worry about it for a nano second. How in the hell am I going to shower with this thing on my foot? Man I've got nothing but questions, and no good answers Argggghhhhh!!!!



Well there was one bright spot out of this whole thing...when the nurse measured my height I found out I'm actually 5'3" - HOT DAMN!!! Things are lookin' up.

Help me find my "Match"

Ok ladies, I need help and I trust you guys to give it (since the 4 of you are the only ones reading my blog).  As you know I've avoided going to internet to solve my dating slump - do you call NEVER having a date a slump?  Whatever!  I need to turn this boat around and get out there and find someone or at least give them the opportunity to find me.  So I joined a site on Sunday and I wrote a profile.  It's been 5 days now and....nothing.  Seriously, nothing.  And this is where you come in, take a look at my profile and tell me what I can do to improve it.  In the past I've posted to entertain, now I'm posting because I'm tired of entertaining.  Are you willing to help me?

I am eager, serious, and caring.


My Self-Summary
You've read this a thousand times, but I swear - I'm horrible at writing about myself. I mean really, I'd love to be able to write the perfect couple of sentences that would draw my match to me. Something that says I'm witty, enticing, and you can't live without me, but alas...you're stuck with what I've been able to come up with in this tiny little box. Truth is I'm a super duper friend and great employee, looking for someone to expand on the good things in my life. Don't get me wrong, I've lived a full life but am no where near calling it quits, what do you still want to do?

What I’m doing with my life
That's a great question! I've done so much already that it's probably time to update my inventory. Right now, I'm happy in the work I do, and very pleased to have no plans to move in the near future. I'm working on establishing roots in my new community and enjoy the life I'm making for myself in the District.

I’m really good at
most things I try...but that's only because I read the manual first. It's my secret weapon.

The first things people usually notice about me
I'm approachable - yeah I said it, bet you haven't read that in a profile before :)

My favorite books, movies, music, and food
Ahhh haaa, now to the good stuff. I love to read and fluctuate between biographies, novels, detective stories, and topical essays. The book in my bag right now is What the Dog Saw.

I love movies, all genres, all eras. But my fav are film noir, have you ever seen Double Indemnity?

Food makes me smile, find a good restaurant and I'll be sitting right there next to you.

The six things I could never do without
Everything can be replaced and life is about evolving and adapting.

I spend a lot of time thinking about
What I'd like to do next. Not daydreaming, but seriously trying to figure out my next steps. I'm almost 40 and feel that my life is no where near being over.

On a typical Friday night I am
getting ready to do something fun...

The most private thing I’m willing to admit here
I'm looking for a long term relationship that just might lead to something bigger.

You should message me if
You'd like to learn more about me and think I'd like to learn more about you.


I didn't think it's that bad, why no hits???

Photos...photos...and more photos....

Hello there my friends....I feel like sharing some pictures.  Enjoy.

December January Photos

Run Fat Girl RUNNNNNNNN!!!

So here the deal I'm laying down my new blogger rules:

1. No complaining about my writing in the passive voice - yeah I do it alot...
2. Know that I'll always come back and correct any glaring grammatical or spelling errors
3. Have patience with my desire to "write as I talk"
4. Laugh at the fact that some how for whatever reason, things like this ALWAYS happen to me, and yet I'm still smiling

Sooo what shall I discuss today? About how absolutely spot-on the tests and queries on the online dating website I just joined are or about me and my recent foray into the Hood. Since this is up to lil' ole me...I'm voting for my adventures in "Land of the Lost."

I'm a Penn Stater, bleeding blue and white deep into my core. I do my best to connect with our local alumni group wherever I move. Tonight was to be my 1st group activity - volunteering for a local food bank, preparing meals for those in need. Here's the rub, we were supposed to arrive by 6, I work until 5:30 and I had no idea where in the hell I was going. Nonetheless, I was committed. So at 5:35 I headed to the metro and hopped on the red line in search of the Brookland stop...while sitting next to a local, and a rather friendly one at that, I realized what I really needed was the Ft. Totten stop. And just as I was about to disembark he stated if you're going to Share our Strength, that was Brookland, sorry I led you wrong there... What?? Brookland, Ft. Totten, I have absolutely no idea, what I'm supposed to do. So I did what anyone else would do, I pulled out my phone and programmed in the address and asked for help from the lord-GPS. And as many of you know I was promptly greeted by the familair dulcet tones of, "re calibrating." As I quickly ran across the platform and headed back to the Brookland stop I checked my watch and breated a sigh of relief, "almost there."

I get off and with my trusty moblie in hand head off into the dark towards volunteer-land. I'm pumped - turn left in 150 ft, cross the street, turn right in 250 feet, travel south...travel south...travel south WTF? How far is this thing taking me, I'm only supposed to be going 2 blocks from the metro? When I finally get smart enough to look up and assess my surroundings I realize - oooohhhhmyyygooodnesss what have I done? It's dark, it's cold, and my god is that man selling crack over there...no no no no no, I did not just do this, I did not conciously place myself in this situation......panic - panic, don't panic. I head over towards the gas station on the corner. Did it just get darker? No, no, I'm just imagining it..."Sir can you tell me where 219 Riggs Rd. NE is from here? What?? I need to do what? No, no I need to go to Riggs Rd, I just came from the metro." He continues to yell at me through scratched thick glass - 'go around back.' So I go around back and ask the mechanic, "how do I get to Riggs Rd. from here?" "You need to go to Ft. Totten.' "No, no I just came from there they told me to come here." "Ft.Totten I tell you, Ft. Totten.'

Well as you can imagine, I determined getting into a shouting match about directions with a mono-sylabbic, one-eyed mechanic wasn't going to help me... and for chrisssakes it's 6:45 I am so friggin' late. I dejected, and yes I must admit, on the verge of tears. Not because I'm scared but because I was stupid enough to put myself in this position. I didn't write down the meeting instructions, I didn't map out the route, and I didn't give myself enough time to get here---shoot, shoot, hell, SHIT!!!! So I put on my super mean face, shoved my phone into my pocket and headed towards the metro, only to be stopped by a passing police car, 'HEY!'

So I did exactly what you're supposed to do when a cop yells HEY across a crowded 4 lane street in the middle of the hood, I RAN MY ASS OFF!!! My awesome black heeled boots were killing and I swear I almost fell, twice...but I got there and decided - I'm just going to have to be a bad citizen of the world and call this adventure quits. As I boarded the train I logged onto the alumni page on FB and typed quickly... I felt like a heel, but I really couldn't imagine getting there and being any help to anyone. I hit "SEND" and went to verify my mea culpa went through...What??? I have a message in my inbox, Jim Tressel, who the hell is Jim Tressel? Are you shittin me? The message read simply....Tonight's January Food & Friends Volunteering event has been cancelled.

Classic. What did you do today?