Online Dating AKA The Land of Awkward Boys

    A few weeks ago I celebrated a weight loss milestone by purchasing a fun and flirty white mini-dress and placing my profile on an online dating website.  I know, I know, I witch and moan that online dating isn't for me, guys don't contact me, and I'm better off suffering in silence on a bar stool knee deep in mussels and house champagne at Bistro du Coin.  Well dammit - I'm over half way to my "Fabulous at Forty" goal and think I'm deserving of little lovin'....So there you are.

    And there it went...right in the proverbial crapper.  Walking home with my head hanging low and thinking to myself - what the hell??? I began counting off the Bad Date Indicators I encountered that evening.  I share with you my top three.  Do you agree? Did I leave anything out? Or should I just slit my wrists right now?  Because you know I pulled my name off that friggin' site

Top Three Indicators Your Date is So Bad You Should Just RUN...RUN....RUN....

1) he claims he's a member of an acoustic duo but insists it's a band.
2) he's 45+ but wears baggy cargo shorts and claims it's because he's lost weight
3) he refers to your jewelry in wizardry/Lord of the Rings terminology